As long as u r alive and ur heart and mind functions fine...u r bound to get hurt, have no doubts about it.To not to get hurt, either u have to be dead or be like a stone.
Now u r saying that u dont want to get hurt.....well, mere "wanting" won't fetch you anything...the wisdom lies in understanding the situation that u r in.
Getting hurt has 2 aspects.
1. Getting physically hurt...well be ware of it and avoid it, that brings real suffering ...if u are physically hurt, get the treatment, that's the only thing possible.
2. Getting hurt mentally...well this is a major issue with everybody...knowingly or unknowingly, this way or that way, sooner or later everybody keeps getting hurt.
Further more... getting mentally hurt, again has 2 aspects.
A normal person gets hurt and it generates lots of anger, hatred, bad vibes, negativity, pain and so many other complexes...and on the other hand if a wise person gets hurt , a so called enlightened one gets hurt... that generates compassion , a sense of let go , a feeling of wonder about what happened....a wondering about the strange ways of life.
Generally when u are getting hurt...it generates resentment , a feeling of having let down , a feeling where u close urself towards situations and people , while if somebody like Buddha or Kabir or Osho gets hurt...they will just smile...they will feel compassionate...they will just wonder and that's about it.
Don't ever think that an enlytened person doesn't get hurt. When an angry man spat on Buddha, Buddha didnt get angry...nor was he like a stone...he just watched the situation compassionately and let it go...It happened with guru nanak so many times...it happened with osho so many times...he was hurt and he was compassionate....it happened to Jesus even while he was being crucified....he was hurt that he was trying to tell something to people for their own good and still they were treating him like that...still he was not angry but compassionate.
Now generally speaking, when does a person gets hurt .
1.when ones knowledge about something is contradicted.
2.when the other person has an opinion about you which you don't like
3.when the other person doesn't behave or respond the way u want or expect
4.when the other person doesn't turn up the way u thought about him/her...like in case of people having heart breaks.
Well,
1. In first case please remember that what u know is very little...what u don't know is far far bigger...and what u can never know is limitless, so don't take your knowledge seriously...drop the argument even if u feel u r right...u won't feel hurt.
2. In second case please understand people have their own parameters to analyse and synthesise. Their rationalization may not always appeal to you and it is not in your control. What others think about u should not matter at all if u don't find any divisibility inside urself about urself. So they are entitled to have their own set of understanding about you...don't try to justify if u think otherwise...don't take it to ur heart bcos if the other person is right then he/she is right and if the other person is wrong about his opinion of you then he is anyways wrong....why bother urself.
3. In third case please understand that in this world everybody is unique.....from the physical features...to the mind set....to the conditioning.....n on and on. So here nobody is born to fulfill ur expectations or ur desires....that is not the rule....so kindly do urself a favour by not asking for something which is not in the law book of nature....it is natural to expect but please understand that it is also natural that ur expectations are not going to be fulfilled the way u want every time....so no point in getting hurt if u understand this.
4. The fourth case is basically a case of complexes...which is also known as fear of rejection. Generally it happens that a person goes through a "failed affair or heart break " and comes a fear of rejection...and sometimes relations keep on failing and consequently a person develops this phobia of "getting hurt"...a person goes into a withdrawal...the introvert mode....well my dear.... be in a "spontaneous mode" rather than living in all these fancy ideas of feeling loved or getting hurt...please understand the temporary nature of things in this world....here nothing is permanent so to speak...even u r not permanent...so why do u expect a permanent rejection or permanent acceptance...a permanent love....love which never fails...accept ur helplessness about the non permanent nature of things...this is the way it is...and when u see this u will never feel rejected and hence wont get hurt...life keeps moving...love comes love goes...people come people go, be it friends or enemies.... opinions get formed they get destroyed...emotions keep changing...u have no control over anything...u have nothing to do with them...and someday if u realize this u will have an orbital jump where transcending happens...where "mukti " happens...where "liberation " happens.
And please remember getting hurt is a sign of ego...of association with mind...of rigidity......of playing high and mighty...of being holier than thou...and all this never brings any creativity or happiness...still if u enjoy getting hurt "feel free in doing so" or else "grow up....grow in".
A few things about people who get hurt easily or are always prepared to get hurt......
1. People have inner vacuum and miseries and it's easy to blame others for that and the easiest way to do is by getting hurt and blaming others...this way or that way they keep getting hurt...it's not possible to satisfy them...ask urself, are u one of them, if yes....now u can drop such habits.
2. A person who has this idea that some day some body is bound to come in life and fulfill all that one asked for...that somewhere there is somebody who is bound to make you totally happy...well one who has even a slightest undercurrent of such thoughts is bound to get hurt again and again...complete fulfillment from "the other" is not possible in the game of life...u drop such ideas and u will never be hurt.
3.A person who is self centered is bound to be hurt time and again...a person who wants to be the center of everything around in life is going to be an easy prey to pain and misery...be selfish and not self centered...u r not the center of anything
lastly
Once somebody asked me "why was it necessary for god to create pain and hurt"...and i said it's because ultimately god is going to hurt u....the existence is going to hurt u in the form of death...ur death or death of somebody who is a part of u...god is preparing u for the ultimate hurt bcos one day all ur agendas...ur possessions ...ur thoughts ...ur acheviments...ur ideas ...ur failures ...ur body...ur desires etc etc are going to be taken away from u....no matter how serious u act... the existence is boosting your final hurt immunity by giving u little doses of pain and hurt time and again....so that u become aware and fall into a state of surrender and let go.
All the best
Prem Kamal
