The question of "the eternal
search" is not new and this search is the base of this
game called "life".
All that is happening in this existence
basically boils down to "this human search".
Take the example of "water"
and the whole cycle of its movement.
From it becoming clouds to snow to then
melting into rivers, streams and then flowing in the direction of ocean where
it gets to rest...again to repeat the cycle...
Take the example of fruits on a tree.
How the nutrients are sucked from the earth and the water from the atmosphere
plus all the process of photosynthesis that happens and the ripening of fruit
and then it gets eaten by somebody or it falls back down again on earth and
disintegrates into what it was earlier in the beginning...again to repeat the
cycle.
So essentially, here everything from
rocks to trees, to water, to the basic atom is moving in a certain circular
repetitive way but there is a difference about the so called journey of things,
life and human life in particular.
A rock is not essentially searching for
anything. Not every form of life is essentially involved in any kind of search,
for e.g. a tree or a mouse or a buffalo or a sparrow is not searching for
anything. They are just moving in a pattern designed and created by existence.
But humans have a search different from everybody/everything else.
And this search is because of "mind"...only
humans have mind and that is why only humans have been able to progress or
change over the course of time.
A stone remained a stone, a dog never
made any discoveries or inventions, a plant has never created anything...so on
and so forth. But humans have evolved, discovered,
invented and searched... so to speak (though it is also an illusion).
Now, this search has basically 3 levels.
1. Needs
2. Desires
3. The beyond...
You have to see where you are stuck
in these 3 levels...but eventually you will have to cross the 3rd level (the beyond)
so to speak and that's when you will feel settled and secured and the one who
is anxious, searching and worried would disappear.
A body has needs and it searches for
its needs to be fulfilled. When the needs are met and there is surplus
overflowing, it takes the form of desires and when somebody gets tired of
chasing desires and realizes the futility of it...the search of beyond begins.
This is again all designed by the existence in the so-called "game/leela
of life". So it's like you climb to Everest and then what?... you have to
come down and when you come down again you start climbing some different
Everest...this is what everybody is doing...creating new temporary goals to
chase.
After your search gets over, there remains no goal of any kind...what remains is sheer flow of life and the bliss,
So now the basic question "Can
anybody tell you as to what you are searching for?"
Well, in words nobody can tell you what
you are looking for, it is not possible. I cannot tell you in words as to what
exactly you are looking for (though I know what it is) because it cannot be
said and since you don't know it, no matter what I will try to say "you
won't be able to understand".
Yes, I can tell you the way to it, to
the destination or goal but I cannot walk for you. You have to cover this
journey yourself... I finished my journey and everybody has to finish their
own, there is no other way out. I can tell the way, the traps, how to identify,
where to stop, how to face the fears on the way...etc...and finally, how to
know that you have found, reached or merged or disappeared or realised.
Another thing that I can tell you is
that "your search" will end only if you are able to find the hidden
dimension of your own being, if you are able to go inside and to the core of
your being. The search, the satisfaction, the realization will come only from
your own self first, and that is why if you go on searching and achieving in
the outer world, it's not going to help... it will not liberate, that is for
sure. You can get comfort, power, resources or things, name, fame, family, relationships,
entertainment etc., but it's just going to be temporary, not long-lasting and
not satiating.
The temporary nature of things cannot
provide you permanent relief or satisfaction, it is not possible...and you just
keep on moving in hope or forgetfulness.
And I am in no way trying to stop you from
living your life or chasing your goals and desires. I am simply telling you
that down the line if and when you begin to feel tired and frustrated, please
remember that I had told you very clearly that it's going to be so. This is the
nature of things, the rule of the game.
First rule of the game of life is that
here things are temporary and you cannot find permanent solitude from temporary
things...so this answers the questions about how to know as to what you
want will be fulfilling or not.
Second rule is that chasing things in
the outer world will lead to futility and frustration, fear and greed and nothing
else. So don't be surprised if you find yourself thinking, thinking and
thinking all the time. It simply shows that you have fallen prey to the
illusions of life. Thinking is all about confusion, fears, greed and no
clarity...otherwise what is there to think about?. Thinking is just about trying to manage things, trying to sort out something or the other all the time...
Third rule is that "the eternal
search starts and ends within". And the funny thing is that if your search
gets over within, then and then only for the first time you will be able to
enjoy the so-called outer world. Then and then only will you be able to enjoy
the temporary things and all that is there in the existence that is available. So
if you don't reach your core and then transcend it too, it's not going to work.
Now what you want to do with your life
is up to you. Either you can experience all this frustration and trivia of life
yourself, in wasting the time and energy, in chasing and accumulating the
things, and then reaching the failure, the failure of being totally successful
or the failure of not being successful in this world...both ways it's going to
fail, and then to finally die and take birth again to repeat the whole cycle...or else, make this search a priority and start to go within...choice is yours.
And do remember the saying "In the end,
the pawn and the king go back to the same box...))). All your achievements and
failures become zero.
But you still have a right to spend
your life creating your own big little empires...it is perfectly OK to do so
and regret later.
I just go on writing and replying to
people all over with a little hope that along with all the great things that
you are doing in your life, somehow you are able to add a bit of silence, a bit
of meditation, a bit of inner travel...don't drop or run from what you are convinced
about, just add the dimension of silence if possible. Work for your needs but
if possible add a bit of silence, chase desires but add a bit of meditation.
So in a nutshell:
1. Nobody can tell you in words what
you are looking for but you can be guided to that point by somebody who has
already reached.
2. Your search in the outer world, that
includes money, wine, drugs, career, sex, relationships and achievements...etc. will
never be able to satiate.
3. Once you are able to find what is
inside you then and then only you will be able to rest and enjoy life...)))
Finally, please remember that whatever you find
in the end, in the source, the soul or whatsoever...there is a step still
needed...please transcend that as well...)))
And one more thing about your
question "about what you are searching for".
In simple words, to begin
with...you are searching for someone who can answer your questions, who can
help in sorting out the complexities of life, of relationships, of all that is continuously
running in the head in all directions...somebody who can just answer what you ask.
Unless a person can answer or guide you about the daily trivia, situations of
life...he will not be able to help you in going deeper or higher towards the
ultimate dimension of life.
And it is very liberating, just to know
that you know a person who knows...it is a biiiiiig relief in itself.
All the best
