Well, everything fails in life...
everything... it's just a matter of time.
Be it relationships, money, knowledge,
health... whatsoever.
And we are in such a deep sleep that we
don't see such a simple thing.
Relationships
About relationships please understand
that in this world every association/relationship can last only if there is a common goal/agenda. If two people in any kind of
relationship don't have any common goals or aspirations...the relationship is
doomed… sooner or later...whether it's a business partnership or marriage or
formation of a music band or whatsoever...an association needs to have a common
agenda to succeed.
In a relationship/association if two
people start moving in different directions, what can you expect?
And existence has made everybody
different...for how long can you go on having common agenda and goals to keep
the association alive.
People are different, their moods are
always changing, their thoughts, their feelings, their bodies, the experiences
of life and the tastes and so many other things are constantly in
flux/changing... it's
almost impossible to have same set of aspirations/goals and expectations from
life all the time, it gets exhausting and boring.
And that is why people in relationships
look so tired and bored after some time.
And then, either people stick together
and keep suffering or the relationship breaks...both ways it fails.
Secondly,
The worst thing about any relationship
is that it binds you, it compartmentalizes you, cages you, it becomes like a job, a compulsion, it's like an agreement...a bondage and you have to live, behave and adhere according to that
agreement.
For example ... marriage, everybody
gets suffocated by it and one has to adjust and live according to other
person’s fears, whims and fancies whether you like it or not... that's how it
happens. And it is frustrating for people... for everyone involved.
In any kind of relationship or association ...if you want to
do something or explore something and your partner is afraid of it or is not willing or doesn't agree about it...what can you do?
If you don’t listen to yourself you
start feeling suffocated and if you listen to yourself then the relationship
gets in trouble.
So most of the time you end up living
according to your partners’ whims and fancies rather than flowing with your own
destiny...and that is precisely why there is so much stink, anger and
frustration around in everybody's life.
Thirdly …
Every relation is based on two
assumptions "permanence and togetherness"...and both are
fundamentally wrong and unnatural.
It is absolutely nonsensical to think
that a relationship has to be forever at any cost and that in a relationship
people have to do everything together.
It's not possible!
You can enjoy your togetherness but
again you will need to have your own space and alignment wherein you would want
to move with your own flow and understanding...a distance would be needed from
your partner and this creates friction. The idea of permanence or permanent
togetherness is very "limiting". It is bounding on an individual and
hampers the growth.
What to do...?
Simple…
* Drop the idea of relationship and
start relating. It's like saying "drop the idea of making friends, just
become friendly and you will have friends everywhere"
* Drop the idea of "permanent
relationship and being forever together"...nothing lasts forever, whatever
time it lasts for...good enough, after that...don't have guilt.
* Never create obstacles for your
partner or associate because of your fears and insecurities...here nobody is
your slave, better not try to make any.
* Don't be afraid to live moment to
moment...that's how you can blossom and transcend your fears. It will keep your
life fresh and this freshness will be there in all your associations and that's the only way to
bring fulfilment in your life and associations.
* Always remember that you are
temporary...so how can you have anything permanent in your life. Stop expecting
the unnatural and impossible.
All the best!
