What else do you expect ?
Anything which you start taking for granted will begin to infest boredom. If you are an actor and u feel u really know the depth of acting, that u have reached the zenith...... the very moment you will begin to lose interest and your downfall will start and that goes for everything in this world which u start taking for granted.
About human relationship , this is one point that couples don't understand and are not aware off.
Love always starts with attraction, that's the first step.....first not the last......that attraction needs be kept IN SOME FORM for love to grow...........
One is attracted to something that one doesn't have or the quality that one appreciates. So the catch is how to keep this attraction alive and kicking........not only that, how to increase the intensity of it with every fall of sand granule in the hour glass..........
Women are attracted by what they hear.......and Men are generally attracted by what they see.
If a man has the "gift of gab".....he is always going to be Mr. Charming, he is always going to be very magnetic for women.....bcos women want to be entertained....they want to be won over by the verbal expressions of the man to begin with...they want to laugh.....they generally go by what they hear......
For a man, generally he is attracted by how women appears, how she looks, that's how it generally starts and that is the reason why women are so bothered and particular about their looks.They know that men are attracted by what they see and with attraction one feels wanted, needed ......and that's a very basic human desire "to be needed"..........
Now everything has a limit.....for how long can one be charming ...for how long can one be coming up with new talk and ideas that binds somebody interest and attention when u r together most of the times......for how long can a man come up with something humorous and funny....it's not possible.
And similarly for how long can a woman maintain her attractiveness.....the physical dimensions or appearance off the body cannot be maintained or perfected all the time by the very design and law of nature. For how long can one keep the "oh so perfect appearance" to keep the attraction alive........
When courtship happens , one meets for lesser time........but once u start being together most of the times, it's not possible to be on the edge of maintaining your appearance all the time.
So with time, the mystery in the other or these parameters of initial attraction tend to fade.
The normal rigmarole of life catches up.....thick and fast.....not only catches up, it piles up.....it starts over weighing these qualities which a man and woman appreciated in the days of their courtship.....the relationship once established creates a feeling of "taken for granted"....
And hence the ship of romance starts sinking, the aura of being in love starts fading away fast. If couples don't have children , there is a big possibility that they will lose interest in each other with time....it's not always like that but the chances become very high.
There are 2 fundamental points that matter ... to be always in a state of love and not look bored....
First, by reinventing urself all the time. Words and Appearance are just on the periphery....there is more in a man than his words and there is a lot more in a woman than her appearance. One has to start moving to higher qualities for this love and attraction to become more intense. And this can happen only when one is creative , when one is learning and moving into something new .... something fresh.....this art of being creative and channelizing your energy positively will reflect in your relationships as well. It will keep the other person interested in you bcos with opening up of new dimensions in life for yourself ....u r in a way opening the same for your partner also.....with ur growth ...the other also has a chance to grow and explore more.If one doesn't have this knack........the boredom is bound to creep in.
Don't take anything for granted in any relationship....DON'T STOP GROWING....don't stop creating "new you" all the time......or the whole relationship will start wilting....and when the intensity begins to fade after the mystery of unknown in the other is gone, people start blaming their partner......and that's not sensible. As far as my understanding goes.......any relationship will fail when u stop learning, when one gets trapped in the SET PATTERNS of life rather than learning something new.........as long as your wheel of creativity is moving , it will keep on churning fresh energy of love.....it will keep your eyes fresh and clean and sparkling....just go on dropping past and keep on enhancing your creativity and it goes for both ...men and women.
Second and very important............giving each other some space........it's like pruning the plants.....it brings new space...new air......new directions to grow in...it helps in blossoming.....
If one starts holding on to the other all the time, it will kill the relationship , it will bring retaliation and will generate a feeling to escape......and it will suffocate the partner.......so this is very essential as the first parameter depends on the second one.One can learn and explore something new only when one gets the freedom of space....freedom of space without any fear.............
But generally in life both these things are missing. People take each other for granted and people take themselves for granted and that makes that tingling feel of love go stale......and life without this feeling of love...without this feeling of newness ...without this feeling of freshness....becomes meaning less....juice less........
Don't take life for granted, don't take a human being for granted , don't take your body for granted.......and it goes for everything........just keep on moving into the new....into being creative......creativity always blesses with a feeling of goodliness and godliness........and never let anybody encroach your time and space totally.......that would be claustrophobic .......
)))))))...........
Prem Kamal
To begin with.....
Meditation is the dialysis for the inner.
Meditation is the process of De-poisoning the mind and then creating a distance from it.
It is the remedy for all mental garbage that is choking up human mind.
It the process of gradual liberation from anger, hatred, frustration, guilt, fear ....bla bla bla
And finally, the riddance from mother of all these mental diseases... "THE EGO" and " the dualities....the confusions....the mental flux...."
Meditation is the process which may bring "FINAL clarity....absolute clarity without any ifs and buts, only if one is willing to experience the "art of dying"....(not physical death but "the ego"......)
Now, when i say "to begin with"...it means , for a normal person or for the beginner...................
For a person who is new to meditation it is just a way to relax, to unwind , to de-stress.......but that is just the beginning
Somehow 99.99% of the people who meditate are stuck only at the beginning.They meditate for years and years but still remain at the same level......just repeating the "a...b....c...........".......just repeating the basic techniques..........
For example.........you look at people who have been meditating for years....they are still into repetition of same as to what they started out with years ago.
You go to meditation camps and u will find camp leaders and aged seekers still stuck with kundalini , zibberish etc....
These techniques are just the basics.......they will de-stress you......these techniques will help you relax......but what after that.You will again get tensed, choked up once u come to normal life and again you will go to some meditation camp and do the same things and again feel light.....and then again, once out of the meditation center you will fall into the same trap of getting messed up. Same set of emotional parameters and dimensions will engulf you again and you will feel tensed and down.So it becomes a circular pattern of tension and relaxation.........
Am i saying "don't do it".....
No, i am saying that it is just the beginning and a beginning has to be made....but don't get stuck with the basics....
The real meditation begins where these techniques end...where the silence starts...And silence has no techniques.....
The real meditation will not only remove the stress but it will take you to the level where you will never be stressed or tensed or dejected again.
The real meditation will free you from "the meditation techniques" itself
It will remove the very roots from where these diseases spread.
The 75% part of the meditation techniques like kundalini ,chakras,tratak and all helps in reducing the symptoms rather than the cause itself....it is just like cutting the leaves......
The leaves of anger, pain, jealousy etc ect will fall down for some time but as soon as u r back to your normal daily life, they will grow again.
That is why u will find people all over who have not changed in the real sense despite meditating for decades.....they have just been cutting the leaves....they never had the guts to reach the very roots and cut the problem from there.The real surgery begins with "silence"........Osho said many times "be silent and know"......that is the key.
WHY MEDITATION TECHNIQUES.........
For humans its not so easy to be quiet...forget about being silent....and hence masters device these techniques as a way to reach the silence a bit easily and quickly.
So meditation techniques are required to reach a stage of being quiet and then being silent ........that's it.
And once you are settled in silence, the real meditation begins....the game changes.....the meditation starts from silence.............................
ABOUT THE RIGHT WAY .............
Well as a seeker you have to be aware as to where u are getting stuck.....
If you are just stuck in the repetition of the physical jugglery involved in any meditation technique OR JUST GETTING STUCK IN WORDS AND DISCOURSES, begin to question your understanding.Begin to question as to what you are doing and if it is actually leading you anywhere except temporary relaxation..........
It is so strange that people who know...who have known ...who have experienced the truth, keep on telling that these words are useless, that these techniques are just a beginning....that they won't take you far....that the words are basically of mind...that don't repeat these words....the words which are not your experience.....but still almost everybody is doing the same.They go on repeating the words of osho or other masters without any break,such is their obsession , their mind cannot rest without it .....it almost becomes a source of time pass and entertainment.The mind keeps lurking for them...more and more......and one gets stuck in those words thinking that they know.
Knowing those words and having information about those words are two different things. Information doesn't means transformation.I have seen people who listen to discourses at night if they are not able to sleep.........they have just fallen in love with a trap despite warning from the master.....
So don't repeat words like love, silence and this and that till the point you are liberated...It trivializes the whole affair of meditation.....
People who got liberated spoke of these words only after they had experienced truth...after they had become truth....if u speak before that, they won't carry any weight...it will unnecessarily add to your ego and others will clearly feel and see the shallowness of it, the foolishness of it...so why to fool yourself when master himself warned you of that....
Once you know something , once you understand something...you will know it yourself and others will feel it too when u speak...the words will carry some weight and energy which will touch peoples hearts......
BEWARE THAT YOU DON'T FALL IN THAT TRAP.
THE FIRST LESSON I LEARNT FROM OSHO WAS WHEN HE SAID "DONT EVER SAY ANYTHING WHICH IS NOT YOUR EXPERIENCE OR UNDERSTANDING..........BEWARE OF REPEATING MY WORDS".........
So that is the first thing to remember as a seeker.......
Secondly,
keep on doing techniques till you get tired but don't get attached to any experiences that u go through......don't hold them dear to your heart though it's going to be very tempting.......for all experiences are of the body and you are not the body...
Thirdly,
Gradually learn to meditate alone.....at times with people and at times alone.Down the line that is going to be very important.Meditating in group is very easy and convenient...but that's not enough.Ultimately you are searching to face yourself and if you don't develop the guts to meditate alone.......you won't reach what you are unknowingly looking for.It's very easy to be in a group and dance and shout and laugh and do humming......and then be in silence.......but that's not enough.So don't chain yourself to groups if possible.
And lastly,
If you do these techniques honestly and with totality, a time will come when u will be able to take direct jump to silence.....at that point of time....try to find somebody who can handle the silence.
Once you have a taste of settling in silence ...you will not be able to handle it....it's very delicate,very soft,very fragile...it's a situation where one is empty of all the garbage but the new,the essential,the valuable has still not come......it's just on the verge of flowing in......you will need the right person to take you through it ...to help you settle in it and then to help you transcend it......and its almost impossible to find a person who can do that ......SO BE AWARE OF THIS AS WELL....
All the best......
Prem Kamal
No'
it's not possible live without desires and Buddha never said or meant that when he said what he said......
His words have been misinterpreted by buddhoos (ignorant)....the old time camp leaders...hahaha.......like the modern times camp leaders are busy giving a different interpretations to Osho's words....
It's not possible to live without desires because desires are not in ur hands........
They just come from beyond, the unknown........that is why it is called "prabhu ichcha".....the god's will or god's desire......it is like that and you can see it for yourself...you cannot think about a desire....its always new and fresh and from the unknown ...while about lust one is always thinking ,it's just impossible to withdraw your energies from lust and that is why your mind is continuously thinking without any break...that's why your thoughts never leave you....because you are continuously possessed by something or the other.Just observe yourself in silence and you will see a pattern of thoughts leading exactly to your point of lust...to the thing you want to control or possess...and it can be anything...one may be possessed by money or sex or children or career or whatever......lust enslaves you.....desire turns you into an artist, lust creates a monster out of you......
When you begin to settle down inside.........and the witness or watching grows, this is the first thing u will realize........."the desire comes on its own.....from nowhere or from somewhere or from anywhere."
What Buddha talked about was "vaasna" and not "ichcha"...
He talked about "lust" and not "desire" when he said those words.
Now the funny thing is that "ichcha" or "desire" turns into lust all the times...
"lust " never comes directly"....its the desire which gets perverted into lust if one is not aware..
And please understand that "lust " is not a sexual word...or vaasna is not necessarily sexual...........
"Ichcha or desire" is something which is attracting your energies..........
The desire gives direction to your life energies ...that's how life happens and continues...........
But when the innocence of desire gets clouded by possessiveness it turns into "lust or vaasna".....vaasna or lust means u are possessed by that...by that something...by that desire....now u r residing in that desire.....now u have become so close to that desire or obsessed by it that u are in it..."vaasna means bas-na...means to reside..." ..now you are blinded by it.
Don't you see in your daily life as to how somebody threw acid on some girl or how jilted lover killed the woman he desired or loved.....it's happening all the time......what's the reason....the reason is simple...the desire to get associated with somebody turns into the lust to possess and when that possession is met by resistance the ego gets hurt....the rejection wounds the false pride...and lovers end up becoming killers....so a simple desire turns into a lust and into a suffering .
Krishna said " don't worry about the end result...phal kee chinta mat kar..."...that's exactly what Buddha meant....don't be obsessed by your desire or else it will become lust and that is going to be the root cause of all pain and agony.
Ashtavakra said "that your karma is not your karma....." and that is exactly what he meant when he said so..........that all your karma begins with a desire and the desire comes from some source , so its not your karma, don't be associated with that, just flow with your karma with honesty, that's it.....and when u r not associated with your karma you won't be associated with the end result...and when you are not associated with the end result you will never lust for anything.
Osho used to say "u r not the doer.....tum karta nahi ho.......".........he also meant the same as Ashtavakra , Krishna, Buddha and everybody who has ever experienced the truth....so when u r not the doer where is the question of "lust or vaasna"....and since there is no lust or vaasna...there is no success and there is no failure...and when there is no success and no failure... where is the ego....it doesn't get formed....and no ego means no pain...no suffering.....simple......
So don't be afraid of desires....but don't be possessed by them.......don't try to possess anything u desire....don't try to rule it or get it by this way or that way, by tact or act.......work towards it,make it into creativity and not into some target that needs to be reached....a goal to be achieved , don't do that or else you will never be at ease...........
Desire is absolutely wonderful, don't try to kill it just because some unintelligent parrot has said that........see and witness in your own life.....see as to how when a desire comes, it breathes a life into you...it enhances your creativity and all creativity ultimately blossoms into love.........not love towards somebody but the quality of "love" with no subject or object........
Prem Kamal
