Boredom in a settled relationship....

What else do you expect ?

Anything which you start taking for granted will begin to infest boredom. If you are an actor and u feel u really know the depth of acting, that u have reached the zenith...... the very moment you will begin to lose interest  and your downfall will start and that goes for everything in this world which u start taking for granted.

About human relationship , this is one point that couples don't understand and are not aware off.

Love always starts with attraction, that's the first step.....first not the last......that attraction needs be kept IN SOME FORM for love to grow...........

One is attracted to something that one doesn't have or the quality that one appreciates. So the catch is how to keep this attraction alive and kicking........not only that, how to increase the intensity of it with every fall of sand granule in the hour glass..........

Women are attracted by what they hear.......and Men are generally attracted by what they see.

If a man has the "gift of gab".....he is always going to be Mr. Charming, he is always going to be very magnetic for women.....bcos women want to be entertained....they want to be won over by the verbal expressions of the man to begin with...they want to laugh.....they generally go by what they hear......

For a man, generally  he is attracted by how women appears, how she looks, that's how it generally starts and that is the reason why women are so bothered and particular about their looks.They know that men are attracted by what they see and with attraction one feels wanted, needed ......and that's a very basic human desire "to be needed"..........

Now everything has a limit.....for how long can one be charming ...for how long can one be coming up with new talk and ideas that  binds somebody interest and attention when u r together most of the times......for how long  can a man come up with something humorous and funny....it's not possible.

And similarly for how long can a woman maintain her attractiveness.....the physical dimensions or appearance off the body cannot be maintained or perfected all the time by the very design and law of nature. For how long can one keep the "oh so perfect appearance"  to keep the attraction alive........

When courtship happens , one meets for lesser time........but once u start being together most of the times, it's not possible to be on the edge of maintaining your appearance all the time.

So with time, the mystery in the other or these parameters of initial attraction tend to fade. 

The normal rigmarole of life catches up.....thick and fast.....not only catches up, it piles up.....it starts over weighing these qualities which a man and woman appreciated in the days  of their courtship.....the relationship once established creates a feeling of "taken for granted"....


And  hence the ship of romance starts sinking, the aura of being in love starts fading away fast. If couples don't have children , there is a big possibility that they will lose interest in each other with time....it's not always like that but the chances become very high.

There are 2 fundamental points that matter ... to be always in a state of love and not look bored....

First, by reinventing urself all the time. Words and Appearance are just on the periphery....there is more in a man than his words and there is a lot more in a woman than her appearance. One has to start moving to higher qualities for this love and attraction to become more intense. And this can happen only when one is creative , when one is learning and moving into something new .... something fresh.....this art of being creative and channelizing your energy positively will reflect in your relationships as well. It will keep the other person interested in you bcos with opening up of new dimensions in life for yourself ....u r in a way opening the same for your partner also.....with ur growth ...the other also has a chance to grow and explore more.If one doesn't have this knack........the boredom is bound to creep in.

Don't take anything for granted in any relationship....DON'T STOP GROWING....don't stop creating "new you" all the time......or the whole relationship will start wilting....and when the intensity begins to fade after the mystery of unknown in the other is gone, people start blaming their partner......and that's not sensible. As far as my understanding goes.......any relationship will fail when u stop learning, when one gets trapped in the SET PATTERNS of life rather than learning something new.........as long as your wheel of creativity is moving , it will keep on churning fresh energy of love.....it will keep your eyes fresh and clean and sparkling....just go on dropping past and keep on enhancing your creativity and it goes for both  ...men and women.

Second and very important............giving each other some space........it's like pruning the plants.....it brings new space...new air......new directions to grow in...it helps in blossoming.....

If one starts holding on to the other all the time, it will kill the relationship , it will bring retaliation and will generate a feeling to escape......and it will suffocate the partner.......so this is very essential as the first parameter depends on the second one.One can learn and explore something new only when one gets the freedom of space....freedom of space without any fear.............

But generally in life both these things are missing. People take each other for granted and people take themselves for granted and that makes that tingling  feel of love go stale......and life without this feeling of love...without this feeling of newness ...without this feeling of freshness....becomes meaning less....juice less........

Don't take life for granted, don't take a human being for granted , don't take your body for granted.......and it goes for everything........just keep on moving into the new....into being creative......creativity always blesses with a feeling of goodliness and godliness........and never let anybody encroach your time and  space totally.......that would be claustrophobic .......

)))))))...........

                                                       Prem Kamal