"All confusions in decision making arise bcos of ur greed...
u want this and u want that and u want this and that together...it doesn't work that way...
u want the blues and greens at the same time though u don't have the money for both....
u want to meditate and be rich in terms of worldly wealth at the same time....it is not possible...to be super rich u have to be superbly focused, aggressive and charged up while to explore the depth of meditation u have to be totally unfocused , non violent and in a let go...both are contradictory but still u want both...u cant decide and u dont reach anywhere...
u want to have a safe career option working from 7 to 7 and yet u want to have an exciting, free, adventurous life...it is not possible...where will u get the time if u r working all the while in order to be secure....
u want to sit on the office chair whole day making money and u desire the health of an athlete who is slogging in the gym or running on the ground.....nah.....not possible....
u want the heavy pay packet that u are getting but u don't like ur work, u don't want the office politics, u dont like the odd hours that u have to work and u dont want the constant criticism and nagging from ur boss and subordinates....well its not possible...if u want the money u have to pay a price for it or else quit....simple...no confusion
But bcos of ur greed u r not able to see the contradictions u r chasing all the time...and u r confused about where u r going wrong and what to do about it.
u r trying to be clever and in the end u end up cheating urself...nobody else..
And all greed is there bcos u have lost the capacity to trust ur instincts....
the capacity to listen to ur heart.......
and u have lost the capacity to listen to ur heart bcos heart is subtle and mind is loud...always making noise...always running...the noise of the mind suppresses the subtle inexplicable instincts of the heart..
And why is mind making so much noise and running all the time....bcos of fear and greed.....
why there is fear n greed...bcos of ignorance....
why and what is the ignorance.....)))))))......its a big vicious circle..........bla bla bla bla...."
Coming to what u asked,
Well, i will share with you my parameters about decision making......
First, whatever i have to do, I see if it is according to nature...is it part of the natural flow.....if yes then there is no problema
Second, is my action going to hurt somebody physically....if yes then its not worth my while...hurting somebody mentally is irrelevant.
Third, do i feel happy doing this....if yes then no matter how somebody else feels, for me it is guda...I am game for it...whatever the end result....happiness is not wrong if it meets the first two conditions.
Now this is more than enough for me and i actually don't have to think about these parameters, this is a spontaneous flow for me about deciding something.
Now "how to make the right choice"
Well there is no right choice and there is no wrong choice.....
whenever one makes a choice, one does so beleiving that this is the right one and more often than not one ends up with the wrong result....result is not in ur hands...
So if u r asking how to be always successful in making the choice which gets u the result u want....well there is no holy grail to it....pls dont try to search for it.
Now let me elaborate a bit....
Years back a friend of mine asked me during a meditation camp.
He said " suppose a snake comes in front of me and i am not somebody who would want to kill it and i dont want to be bitten either...what do I do "
And i said
"firstly...a snake comes in front of u and u feel like running away....just run away...and then if smbdy teases u that oh u r a coward or weak hearted or bla bla...dont feel guilty abt it...it happened the way it was meant to happen...dont try to make any judgements about ur action now...don't crib..
Second situation is snake comes and its so sudden that u just get very angry and charged up and u end up breaking its neck and killing it....thats fine too....now pls dont regret that why u did it...don't think as to how could u kill an innocent animal and u are such a good soul and a non violent person.....and on n on.....it happened spontaneously...simple....move on..
Third situation is that snake comes in front of u and u decide that u r not going to do anything abt it even if u get bitten...u will not hurt the animal....now may be that the snake passes away from the sides without doing anything....without harming u.....that is absolutly ok but then pls dont start rationalising that it was ur gud karma or that u r such a good human being that mother nature saved u or that u remembered ur guruji or god and the blessings descended upon u and u got saved...no....these things are inexplicable...don't try to rationalise or glorify them...
And the last situation is that u decide to stay put and the snake bites u.....that too is fine....run for treatment but dont regret ur decision now...lesson learnt that its better to run away in such situations..."
So, the essence of whatever i said is that its not abt the decision u make....it's abt the way u always end up regretting all ur actions....or the end results...
u do something u regret and u don't do something u still regret....it's the regret which is the problem and botheration rather than the choice of action.
It happens all the time.....a person goes to the market with a friend to buy a shirt. He enters the showroom and gets fixated on the blue one....his friend suggests white one.......now he is confused........
Listen to ur heart.....do what ur heart says
Please understand that its not abt the choise u make...it's abt the mind which wants to create conflict no matter what u do.....
Mind wants to run and run....and conflict is its food... MIND goes on dividng itself into many parts in forms of different logics and there is no pattern to all the logics in life if u start working at all of them at the same moment....mind is just running in multidirections all the time but u cannot go to east and west at the same moment...
So whatever u decide...after that "just surrender"...surrender is the key...
and this is called destiny ......"something happened bcos it was meant to happen.."
Now drop it and move on"....something which appears right at this moment can be wrong in other moment...things are in a flux...so are the situations ....and almost everything....don't try to have standard answers to all the questions /situations of life.....u will always be confused...))))))))....and it is not necessary to be always right....like they say "its not necessary to win every time....but the game must go on"....participate in this game of life...in the game of situations....do ur best and then
move on......winning or losing is not in ur hands....)))....
So do whatever u feel is spontaneously appealing and instinctive at the moment and then just move on.....the moment is gone...the decision got made....whatever was to happen happened....no point in cribbing now.......
U made ur decision at that moment...whether u decided to listen to ur rationalizations and logics or u decided to listen to ur heart...its fine...there are no perfect answers to every situation in life...and its wonderful that way or else life wld be predictable and monotonous.
And last thing i want to suggest is...."please keep ur options open....pls keep ur exit route open.....just don't barge into a dark tunnel thinking that ur lucky stars will take care of u...they just may disappoint u "
All the best
Prem Kamal
Meditation is not your priority because of mainly 5 reasons
1. You are not a successful person....by success means u have not reached what ur targets were...u have not lived ur life in totality, u have been lukewarm in every act of life.
2. You still live in hope .......
3. You r not intelligent enough......
4. Disaster has not struck u as of yet..........
5. You dont realize that u r going to lose everythig that u have....
Now u will find it very strange reading as to what i am saying.
My friend u are not successful bcos u have not been able to achieve to the level where u can say "o , more of this doesn't make sense....."
u have not chased men/women with totality.....
u have not worked really hard in the vocation u r in...
u have not gone deep in friendship, in relationships....
u have not loved anybody with intensity....
u have not chased money and reached the point of questioning as to what u r doing....is this what u r living for....
u have not done a single act in ur life which is able to take u till the end point of it...from where there is no movement possible......
u have not entertained urself with worldy pleasures successfully, totally to the the extent that u cld see the futility of it...
u have not been able to pamper ur senses to the level where u realize that it is not enough to fill some deep "void" after every achievement....
U have lived ur life like almost lethargic...no intensity or gest....as if u have all the time in this world.....actually u have not done even an act of totality in ur life if u look honestly...
(wait, dont try to understand before reading further.......)
For example,
If u were rich by now u wld have seen the futility of possessing lot of money....
money would have stopped being ur motivational force and hence u would not be distracted by it.
And i am not saying that u don't have money...all i m saying is u r not rich despite having so much money....to possess money and to be rich are 2 different things.
If u were rich u wld have stopped putting so much energy into making money by now and would have began ur search for something higher and the energy saved wld have easily been put into meditation.
So u r still not rich enough to transcend money...u want to collect more n more of it, and with more of it u invest again to have still more and hence u live in fear, greed which takes away all ur energies and keeps u busy.
The momentum of violent energy that is required to make money and to save what u already have is not leaving u focused or interested enough in meditation.
To make money u need to get maximum out of ur client and workers....to make lots of money u need to get maximum out of ur subordinates and seniors....its a game of keeping onself on the edge to progress in life and a person living on the edge of anxiety can never meditate.
So i suggest go all out for money or whatever u feel will liberate u or bring ultimate peace and when u have really tried u will realize the futility of it and then perhaps u will grow enough to understand the importance of meditation.
In a nut shell what i am saying is that chase ur dreams with total intensity.....all out....
give urself totally in love...to the woman or man who u r obsessed with....
give totally in friendship to the friend or person who u feel is closest to ur heart....
whatever inspires u in life go all out for it...
and sooner than later u shall realize that nothing liberates...
u will find that after u have achieved what u wanted so desperatly "there remains a huuuuuuuge void...a huge vacuum....a big feeling of having got cheated"...
"NOTHING FAILS LIKE SUCCESS".......and when u have really succeeded u realize the magnanimity of the failure and when u have got the woman / man u wanted, the house u were so desperate for, the car u were willing to kill for.....u see that it amounts to nothing.....that feeling of emptyness falls onto u totally and then u realise the failure of all that u got .....u realize that u are either just chasing or managing things...u are not able to live..
U will find that u r just trying to manage people, time, resources, energy,relations, health....n so many other things....but u r not able to live...just live without being preoccupied with anything
And once u r really failed by being total , it would lead u to a burnout and after that either one becomes lifeless , depressed or else if one is lucky and one meets the right person one takes to meditation or if one is into it already one would be drowning oneself into meditation.
And since u are not successful to the point of "saturation" in anything so to speak , u still live in hope....
u feel that u will put a bit more effort...or u will try a different way...and if this much is not satisfying u will go for more....
if this relation is not working u will go for another one...
it's like u are jumping from one idea to the other and from the "here to more " ...
u r continuously busy in finding new toys to keep u busy...old girlfriend goes new one comes...old boyfriend disappears...one finds a new one...
one car tires u....u get busy to find the means to bring a new one...and hence u keep living in hope...and living in hope that may be next one satisfies...
You just don't want to see that "nothing else is meant to complete you....be it a relationship , money , cars or possessions...that's not the law of nature"
ur energy is always divided and focused on "the other"...it gets fragmented...its like " rolling stone gathers no mass"...
And hence u r not able to meditate...it doesn't become ur priority...
too manY issues distracting u all the time....and whole life u r just chasing with hope...
u r not willing to see things as they are...but ur hope make u run towards future...
if u really become total u will succeed and with success u will fail and with this failure u will lose hope....u will not be fooled by any new ideas...the only choice then left wld be to meditate.
Thirdly,
u r not intelligent or aware enough to see life,
to what is happening all around to people, to urself, to the world ,
to the increasing number of depresseds all around,
to the increase in the temper and a steep fall in the level of patience of humanity in general everywhere ,
u r not willing to the see the lives of people in old age...
and perhaps so many other aspects of life u r not able to feel n observe...
if u do, u will immediately drop ur so called intelligence and shall begin a move towards what the wise-men have always said over the centuries "MEDITATE"....
And lastly,
perhaps nature has been kind to u till this point in life...
perhaps somehow u have not gone through something so shocking which shakes ur roots...
something which has broken ur heart...some state of helplessness...
but my friend this life spares nobody...here nobody remains a virgin, life fucks all...
history of humanity shows u that.................
From Michael Jackson to Marlon Brando to Marlyn Monroe to Whitney Housten to Alexander to Guru Dutt to Meena Kumari to....on n on n on....
From Rockstars to Filmstars to top Politicians to most Beautiful of Damsels to the most Richest ...to the very common man...nobody gets spared...What is it that they miss out that despite all the glory n achievements they still die unhappy.....and what is it for the common man who also dies unhappy....somewhere something is missed by everybody...almost everybody...."yes, and that missed point can be found by meditation"
Osho used to say "meditation is the first and last freedom"...
he was right, and what he meant was that if u keep meditating u will reach that point of liberation where u will be free...
free from mind...free from all the bondages...
Only meditation can take u to the point where everything instead of becoming a bondage gets converted into love and compassion.
Good luck
Prem Kamal
