Decision making and confusion........

"All confusions in decision making arise bcos of  ur greed...

 u want this and u want that and u want this and that together...it doesn't work that way...

 u want the blues and greens at the same time though u don't have the money for both....

 u want to meditate and be rich in terms of worldly wealth at the same time....it is not possible...to   be super rich u have to be superbly  focused, aggressive and charged up while to explore the depth of meditation u have to be totally unfocused , non violent and in a let go...both are contradictory but still u want both...u cant decide and u dont reach anywhere...  

 u want to have a safe career option working from 7 to 7 and yet u want to have an exciting, free, adventurous life...it is not possible...where will u get the time if u r working all the while in order to be secure....

 u want to sit on the office chair whole day making money and u desire the health of an athlete who is slogging in the gym or running on the ground.....nah.....not possible....

 u want the heavy pay packet that u are getting but u don't like ur work,  u don't want the office politics, u dont like the odd hours  that u have to work and u dont want the constant criticism and nagging from ur boss and subordinates....well its not possible...if u want the money u have to pay a price for it or else quit....simple...no confusion

But bcos of ur greed u r not able to see the contradictions u r chasing all the time...and u r confused about where u r going wrong and what to do about it.
u r trying to be clever and in the end u end up cheating urself...nobody else..


And all greed is there bcos u have lost the capacity to trust ur instincts....
the capacity to listen to ur heart.......
and u have lost the capacity to listen to ur heart bcos heart is subtle and mind is loud...always making noise...always running...the noise of the mind suppresses the subtle inexplicable instincts of the heart..

And why is mind making so much noise and running all the time....bcos of fear and greed.....
why there is fear n greed...bcos of ignorance....
why and what is the ignorance.....)))))))......its a big vicious circle..........bla bla bla bla...."

Coming to what u asked,

Well, i will share with you my parameters about decision making......

First, whatever i have to do, I see if  it is according to nature...is it part of the natural flow.....if yes then there is no problema

Second, is my action going to hurt somebody physically....if yes then its not worth my while...hurting somebody mentally is irrelevant.

Third, do i feel happy doing this....if yes then no matter how somebody else feels, for me it is guda...I am game for it...whatever the end result....happiness is not wrong  if it meets the first two conditions.

Now this is more than enough for me and i actually don't have to think about these parameters, this is a spontaneous flow for me about deciding something.

Now "how to make the right choice"
Well there is no right choice and there is no wrong choice.....
whenever one  makes  a choice, one does so beleiving that this is the right one and more often than not one ends up with the wrong result....result is not in ur hands...

So if u r asking how to be always successful in making the choice which gets u the result  u want....well there is no holy grail to it....pls dont try to search for it.


Now let me elaborate a bit....
Years back a friend of mine asked me during  a meditation camp.
He said  " suppose a snake comes in front of me and i am not somebody who would want to kill it and i dont want to be bitten either...what do I do "

And i said
"firstly...a snake comes in front of u and  u feel like running away....just run away...and then if smbdy teases u that oh u r a coward or weak hearted or bla bla...dont feel guilty abt it...it happened the way it was meant to happen...dont try to make any judgements about ur action now...don't crib..

 Second situation is snake comes and its so sudden that u just get very angry and charged up and u end up breaking its neck and killing it....thats fine too....now pls dont regret that why u did it...don't think as to how could u kill an innocent animal and u are such a good soul and a non violent person.....and on n on.....it happened spontaneously...simple....move on..

Third situation is that snake comes in front of u and u decide that u r not going to do anything abt it even if u get bitten...u will not hurt the animal....now may be that the snake passes away from the sides without doing anything....without harming u.....that is  absolutly ok but then pls dont start rationalising that it was ur gud karma or that u r such a good human being that mother nature saved u or that u remembered ur guruji or god and the blessings descended upon u and u got saved...no....these things are inexplicable...don't try to rationalise or glorify them...

And the last situation is that u decide to stay put and the snake bites u.....that too is fine....run for treatment but dont regret  ur decision now...lesson learnt that its better to run away in such situations..."

So, the essence of whatever i said is that its not abt the decision u make....it's abt the way u always end up regretting all ur actions....or the end results...
u do something u regret and u don't do something u still regret....it's the regret which is the problem and  botheration rather than the choice of action.

It happens all the time.....a person goes to the market with a friend to buy a shirt. He enters the showroom and  gets fixated on the blue one....his friend suggests white one.......now he is confused........

Listen to ur heart.....do what ur heart says

Please understand that its not abt the choise u make...it's abt the mind which wants to create conflict no matter what u do.....

Mind wants to run and run....and conflict is its food... MIND goes on dividng itself into many parts in forms of different logics and there is no pattern to all the logics in life if u start working at all of them at the same moment....mind is just running in multidirections all the time but u cannot go to east and west at the same moment...

So whatever u decide...after that "just surrender"...surrender is the key...
and this is called destiny ......"something happened bcos it was meant to happen.."

Now drop it and move on"....something which appears right at this moment can be wrong in other moment...things are in a flux...so are the situations ....and almost everything....don't try to have standard answers to all the questions /situations of life.....u will always be confused...))))))))....and it is not necessary to be always right....like they say "its not necessary to win every time....but the game must go on"....participate in this game of life...in the game of situations....do ur best and then
move on......winning or losing is not in ur hands....)))....

So do whatever u feel is spontaneously appealing and instinctive at the moment and then just move on.....the moment is gone...the decision got made....whatever was to happen happened....no point in cribbing now.......
U made ur decision at that moment...whether u decided to listen to ur rationalizations and logics or u decided to listen to ur heart...its fine...there are no perfect answers to every situation in life...and its wonderful that way or else life wld be predictable and monotonous.

And last thing i want to suggest is...."please keep ur options open....pls keep ur exit route open.....just don't barge into a dark tunnel thinking that ur lucky stars will take care of u...they just may disappoint u "

All the best

                                                          Prem Kamal