MY DEAR WHO TOLD U THAT BEING POSITIVE OR POSITIVE THINKING IS GOOD AND GOING TO HELP U IN ANY WAY...FROM WHERE DID U GET THIS IDEA....))).
PLEASE UNDERSTAND THE 3 DIMENSIONS OF THOUGHT PROCESS.
When u r looking only "at the rose" with all its grandeur of fragrance and beauty, it is being positive...it's one extreme...
When u r looking only "at the thorns" engulfing the rose, it is negative thinking...it's another extreme...
And when u r looking "totally at the whole"...the plant, with leaves,thorns and flower and the flower bed and the garden...it is being pragmatic, being realistic...the "MADHYA MARG...THE RIGHT WAY"...what Buddha said.
NOW WHO NEEDS POSITIVE THINKING.
Only a person who has negative thinking is attracted to positive thinking...
A person who has no negative thinking will not think of positive thinking...
Only a person who is not well thinks of medicine...isn't it.
So to become a positive thinker u have to be a negative thinker first...or else who cares about positive thoughts...there is no need.
The issue is the negativity...and what u r trying to do is basically replace negative with positive...and there lies the whole problem of understanding.
The solution is not in bringing the positivity but getting rid of negativity...become bereft of negativity and u won't need any positivity.
NOW, WHY DOES ONE HAVE NEGATIVE THINKING...
HOW DOES THE NEGATIVITY BEGINS...
FROM WHERE DOES IT ENTER.
YOU WILL BE SURPRISED TO KNOW THAT All YOUR NEGATIVE THINKING IS BECAUSE OF THE POSITIVE THOUGHTS THAT U STARTED WITH.
Please look in your life and see how the trap gets formed.
Positive thinking is always future oriented...pertaining to what u expect out of ur actions...and all your action is motivated by goals.
These goals are part of ur positive thinking and aspirations. You set your standards or goals or objectives and the time frame and the whole road map as to how to reach them.
There is a zest when u plan all this...one is in a positive bent of mind, full of enthusiasm , energy.
Now when u plan it's only ur mind that works...but when u act or execute there is ur body and so many other factors which are involved... parameters which r not in ur hands, which ur mind doesn't know about at the time of planing .
The whole approach of planning is grossly optimistic rather than realistic.
It is based on what u desire and expect rather than what u may or may not get.
And when u start working or moving towards ur goal u realize u are failing so many times...
u realize there are so many compromises involved...so many struggles, so many bad decisions, so many pitfalls, so much tiredness...so much fight, and on and on.
Gradually negativity comes...the whole momentum of energy takes u turn bcos life is not what u had imagined while being in the optimistic frame of mind...there r obstacles...the outcome is generally not what u had anticipated...and the same positive attitude turns negative.
That is why this world is full of negativity despite all the talk and lectures on how to do this and that, how to be positive...how to be happy....and all the "how to manuals..."
The more the talk of being positive shows the prevailing abundance of negativity...the more the talk of positive thoughts indicates the presence of negative thinking in the life.
These manuals, guiding lines and 3 rules of happiness and 7 rules of letting go and 10 rules to stay relaxed and 12 rules for this and that and bla bla are just bogus and time pass...
Just look at ppl who throw such set of rules...they themselves have no idea of what they are proposing...these rules are propagated by those who have no idea of realism, who don't have the capacity to see things as they are.
IF U R NEGATIVE...PLEASE DON'T TRY TO BE POSITIVE...
IF U R NEGATIVE...BE NON NEGATIVE...DON'T TRY TO BE POSITIVE...
STAY NON NEGATIVE AND NON POSITIVE...THAT'S THE KEY
OR ELSE U WILL BE TRAPPED IN THE VICIOUS CIRCLE OF NEGATIVE BECOMING POSITIVE AND POSITIVE BECOMING NEGATIVE AND U WILL GO CRAZY.
There is a huge difference between "being non negative and being positive."
NON NEGATIVE MEANS...U R REALISTIC.
POSITIVE MEANS...U R DREAMING...being idealistic , being a dreamer...future oriented...and when dream gets shattered in the unknown dimensions of future...negativity descends...and this is bringing all the sadness, lifelessness, struggle and tiredness in the peoples lives.
Why do people have problems in their married life...
bcos when they started off they were just totally positive...all goody goody...but life is not always goody goody...it has it's own agenda...and then when they realize this, they become full of negativity and that's why marriage is regretted most of the times...ppl are always cribbing.
Why are people unhappy in their work life or careers...
simply bcos earlier they were all so overtly positive...high hopes...anticipating a shiny future blinding their eyes...nobody thinks of the daily office struggles or the politics involved or the hassles of doing buisness or the worker management or the hectic schedules or the useless traveling in so much pollution and traffic...that's why people look so sad at work...they never visualized all this initially...even ppl at high posts are always wrecked and anxious...the reason is the same...positive thinking in the begining is turning around.
Why do relations fail...
the story remains the same...ppl are so very positive when it begins...and then...the pendulum of energy shifts towards negativity when they see that things are not what they had imagined.
Why does every child wants to grow up fast but becomes unhappy once he grows young and subsequently old ?
It's just bcos of positive thinking...high hopes...high aspirations he had as a child...every thought is just full of enthusiasm but as they grow up...they realize the futility of things...they realize how they had exaggerated the positive dimension of their thought process...the illusions they created.
Observe how the insurance companies and real estate companies promote their business...they hit the positive chamber of ur mind to sell their products...they always flash a pic of a beautiful house with a nice garden and a lovely woman holding her cute little child on the swing with husband smiling besides that woman in the "oh so perfect weather with right amount of sun and breeze"...they are hitting ur positive thought process...all sugary and sweet.
In real life it is not so...a mother hardly looks the woman projected in the picture, she is constantly working n tired in real life...and small children are generally swung in the garden by the maids most of the times...and husbands are never to be found in such places...and the perfect weather of the picture hardly exists.
Have u seen why so many ppl are not able to lose weight despite all the guidance, help and efforts...it's simply bcos they start out with lot of positivity...and gradually when things don't happen the way they thought...they get dejected and turn negative...all the gyming, the atkins diets and naturopathys fail...the enthusiasm fades away...they give up mid way...positive energy turns negative...and then after few months again this energy again turns positive...ppl again start running to lose weight...and again the same cycle happens.
Same thing happens with people who want to quit smoking or drinking or whatever...most of the times they fail...
Whole life goes away and one is left moving in the same circle.
So please understand how nature works rather than falling in the trap of these glorious sets of idealistic eutopian advices, manuals and rules of positivity.
People say "don't expect"...and they also say "be positive"...now what they are not able to see is that "ALL UR EXPECTATIONS ARE DISGUISED IN THE FORM OF POSITIVE THOUGHTS AND ALL UR EXPECTATIONS WILL BRING PAIN".....BEWARE.
Osho used to say "sukh kee aad mein hee dukh aata hai......all ur pain comes in the cover of pleasure" ....
Don't be negative...Don't be positive...just be realistic and see things as they are and act as per the situation rather than the imagination or idealism in ur head.
Things are "the way they are"....neither negative nor positive...
AND FEEL FREE TO DISAGREE WITH WHAT I AM SAYING .
Good Luck
Prem Kamal
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