EGO.........HOW IT GROWS........

Coming to the second part of your question  as to 
"How ego is formed and the way it grows.First please understand that to live in this world you have to have an identity and this identity is just a reference , a part of system to make things convenient.

Now if you become identified with this identity it becomes ego.All kinds of identifications lead to ego formation.Now this may sound a bit complicated so let me take your example.

Now assuming that your name is "X or jack" and I  tell you that there is no jack its just a name ,you will agree immediately.Your name is just a name.....nothing more...it can be changed anytime, you are not the name.So its obvious that a name is just a name.
Now assuming your neighbor has a pet....a puppy ....and he starts calling  that puppy  "jack"......day in and day out all the time moving with his puppy he addresses him as "jack"...........will you not be effected.?

Deep inside you will be terribly affected, upset and angry despite knowing that it is just a name.You will not be liking it at all......and this name has now become a part of your ego...because though your mind says you are not jack and it's just a name...still you are identified with it and feeling miserable....and that's exactly how this ego grows and multiplies , by our identifications with  name...surname...caste....nationality...sexuality....and bla bla though we go on telling ourselves that all this is useless.

When listening to the master or the guru you will nod your head in agreement that all this is futile but as soon as you move out in your daily life ....you will be identified with these terms and will go on fighting for them....and the misery perpetuates. Osho used to give his sannyasins a new name....it was just a psychological device to break one's identification with the old...all that one carries in the head....but there also people got emotional and identified with their names.
In fact so many times they go to depths to find the meaning of their new names, analyzing why they got this name and then they feel so attached to it.............

And they stay where they are...no progress spiritually...old habits die hard....they identify themselves with new names.....they fail their master..... what to do,that's how it happens.,,.....
They become emotional about their beads and malas and names and experiences of sannyas and bla bla.....something that was meant to be fun becomes ego in a subtle way.

Now on one hand this identification of yourself makes this ego..............another aspect of life that perpetuates the ego is the idea that you are a "doer"..........that you are doing whatever is HAPPENING.

Now "life is movement..." and there is action every moment.
And every action will lead to two kinds of results............
One ,something that you wanted and hoped for....and you are successful in getting that.....

Or second kind of result which is opposite to your hopes and expectations....where you feel as if you have failed.
Now in  both the cases if you associate yourself as a "doer"... ego will be formed.

First ,assuming that you were successful in what you wanted to do.........you will feel elevated,you will feel special, great, your chest will swell with pride or inside you will feel  "o, i am definitely intelligent"..........
And then  density of all these expressions gets multiplied when you get appreciated by your friends and family and loved ones......this ego multiplies.....you start creating certain impressions about yourself in the mind....you feel special........
Pride and all its cousins come in,sometimes very subtly sometimes very visible.

In the second case when you fail..........you will feel bad,a failure,kinda lost out, not good enough, a bit guilty, inferior, dejected......and so on and so forth.
Now you will begin to identify yourself with these psychological expressions

Again the ego is formed....again you got associated.............

So this way or that way ego keeps on multiplying...sometimes in a positive way and sometimes the opposite.

Now this is a strange situation.............whatever you do.........you are going to be in trouble and this trouble will keep on multiplying...."THE EGO KEEPS GROWING"....

So what to do.......simple........"Surrender".......don't get identified with the action and the result , see and understand that  the action  happened that way......and the result also came that way.
You just  did your karma.........nothing else.

That was the essence of "Gita" when krishna said to Arjun...that you do your job without getting associated with it.
Life has brought you a situation, do whatever happens spontaneously ,do according to your nature and then just get out of the way.
There are no rights and no wrongs,there is no good and no bad .......if you keep yourself out of the picture.
You just become  a witness.....not associated ........that's what Osho was trying to tell all the time......

But this needs guts to apply......this needs absolute surrender to the existence........try it and you will know.

In other words its called "LET GO".....and it needs a big heart and courage to "LET GO"......these are not just mere words.....you will be transformed immediately the moment you start applying this.

There is a Sufi saying .........
"Mera mujh mein kuch bhi nahin.......
 Tera sab tujhko arpan......."  ,which means
"There is nothing in you which is yours...
So instead of becoming a "Doer"....become a "Witness"....let it happen...........

You cannot to anything,it's just a wrong idea..........things just happen.

You are born in this body...it just happened..........
Your body took particular dimensions....it just happened.....you are not to be crdited or discredited for that..........
You are born in a certain country...it just happened....
You fell in love with a particular person....just happened......
You have children who look this way or that way.......that too is not in your control..........it just happened......
You invested money and it grew.....that too just happened.....and  if it went down the drain and you failed ,that too just happened.............

Don't become a "Doer"...if you want your ego to melt away...do everything totally and that's it....."Jo hua so hua....jo hoga so hoga......whatever has happened has happened...whatever  that will happen.....will happen.....que sera sera......."

Everything is just happening.....you can't see it because you are not aware....you are not present.......you are lost in your ego...in your ideas....in the future and in the past....in your guilts and in your hopes.....IN YOUR CONFLICTS...IN YOUR MIND...and because of that you are constantly in fear and anxiety..............

And that's how one misses out in life.....that's how one miss out the Master....that's how one miss out on the real flavour of Gita, of Dhammpada  and of every other scripture which was spoken by people who have known.

During the life one keeps struggling ...this way or that way and in the end everything fails.....one dies in misery...that's why people are generally  afraid of old age...that's why people are afraid of death....it looks ugly.....because the dying person just reflects fear, helplessness ...empty...nothing else.....you look in the lives of all great achievers  or of the normal mortal so to speak, at the time  of their death they were just sad......because they missed out something...the real thing....they were lost in the ego....their achievements and failures...and in the end they realized there is nothing to take with them...

Do i have any problem with it.....no....none whatsoever....you asked ,i gave you my understanding and experience....you may inflate your ego, you may work towards melting it away...your life ...your wish....

All the best ..... 

                                            Prem Kamal